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zanaelf
I am an artist that produces a wide range of art types , I love science fiction, fantasy, extraterrestrials,elves, fairies, space, science, art and cats,

Age 42

Artist

Ra,Terra, UK, Sunderland

Joined on 8/25/13

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zanaelf's News

Posted by zanaelf - May 9th, 2021


Why was I born, why was I born with both genders to be then have forced surgery by parents to the gender they want? Why was I bought up in the gender they wanted, Why did I develop ? Why do I exist on this planet ? Why am I an organic meatbag that lives an insignificant amount of time compared to stars and galaxies and galaxy clusters ? Why is life short ? Why are people assholes ? Why do people find pleasure in seeing me suffer, and post me on Encyclopedia Dramatica because I was born different ? Why was I born, why am I an organic life form ?I only wish to be accepted who I am and only get attention to people who hate me ? Why did my parents abuse me ? Why do people abuse me when I looked up to them and hoped for insight, some guidance on the things, and they turned on me because I did not understand why they do things to me and made me appear stalkerrish, and their responses to me made me do more of it ? Why am I here , why do I exist ? why do I hate myself ? Is it because what what people have done to me when I tried to love myself, explore with myself and be myself as it came out to freakish ? Why am I even alive when I tried to kill myself.. I want to do things be creative . Why did I get coronavirus and not die , but still struggling with wanting to do what I want to do each day because coronavirus fucked me up badly , where I feel I am over long covid , but now still feel have to recover from long covid , why do I suffer, why do people suffer why do people get joy and happiness from observing other people suffer ? Why did I get benaned from websites just because I am me ? why are people dogmatic ? Why do people suck ? Why do I hate myself ? why do I want to kill myself and why do I not want to kill myself ? Why do I want to see as much as I can in the universe that even if I had a space craft that can travel across the galaxies like stepping on pavement stones when it is still insiginificant to the size of the infinite universe(multiverse) ... what is the point ? Why am I happy when I create, why do I get unhappy when people hate me ? Why do they hate me ? Why do I hate people who hate me?

What is the purpose of living ?

Why do I want to kill myself ?Why do I want to live as long as I can so the things of the present become meaningless and all the hate fades away with time., why do I hate time ? I feel there isn't enough of it to be able to do what I want to do. I feel frozen in time when time ticks away , wanting to do something, but cant get starting into something...

I feel tired , I feel worn out... I just want to sleep and sleep and wake up in the next millennium when I hope things be better.. when I can get a new body...

Where and why do I have to live now through suffering why us there suffering

Why do people get happiness and joy from me suffering

Why did they waste their time doing something that makes them happy, and everyone else happy without anyone suffering or be in pain by their actions ?

why are people cruel ? Why did be born this way that would make people give themselves the reason to be cruel to me ?

Why are there people , why is there life in the universe when it could have all been matter and no consciousness ? Why is life short why is their pain and suffering , why do I know more pain and suffering than joy and happiness ?


1

Posted by zanaelf - April 6th, 2021


As you know I have started on the project of ETs rescuing Earth wildlife from earth humans when they go extinct, and allowing them to reside on reserve planets/moons. People love wild animals (or should, which doesn't explain why some are heading towards extinction, which is the real life satire of this work).. These are designed in 3D as a reference and then painted on canvas. Nature , wild animal art is popular , this could develop into a source of income, and would attempt to sell these. This would be done timely/spread out as you know oil paint takes ages to dry.


Scrapping the LoneElf project... was a good idea, but too many bad memories of the past due to other people who are still persistent of discriminating me , and recent events with media and politics against transgender and intersex people seems to be mirroring the simulated world around these elf characters with Earth humans and current reality.. To traumatising to work on, as I just want to escape from all this. (concepts might still be cannon for new content/future lore, but not as a main story ) Was a concept about how an Elf people on a planet who were born intersexed and were chased off planet by the members of the binary sex.. as breakaway civilisations, then to be hunted by the binary gender empire that formed on their home world with ambitions to conquer their entire galaxy.


Continuing the rainbow space elves 3D content and later painted but less frequently, or for wallpapers. Depending how explicit it is, some works may or may not be on deviant art. They won't be on new-grounds, but only as the final oil/acrylic paintings. The 3d reference renders would be on DA or my personal website, and maybe on other sites who accept poser/daz renders.


Random topic content/genre art... I do so something random and unexpected , this would also slot with my music creation. I need to create some new music too.


Finding new art sites to spread the presence of my work..


Now the exciting news...


Finally I have come up with a new project with would be more focused around digital drawing/painting and might develop into an adult comic if all goes well. About a space elf people of a variety non-binary sex/genders who explore the universe in their organic tentacle spaceships/spacecraft and what happens when they make first contact with earth people. The culture clash on an explicit, provocative, nymphomaniac "who needs clothes, when the weather is fine " people vs the future of earth humans with their views of morality in a political and religious sense and the chaos it creates because it blows their minds and kicks religion out of the window when the system crashes and freezes.


This is so exciting topic to build on and get lost into. Unfortunately not all the work of this would be on deviant art , because of content policy, but would be in other places.


Posted by zanaelf - August 2nd, 2020


As you know, Its taking months to fully recover from COVID-19. Caught the stupid virus in March at the doctors after having my tri-monthly injection, while on my out from the GP practice at Pallion Health Centre in Sunderland on my way to use the elevator to get down, because it is easier for my broken back than to use the stairs.I should have used the stairs that day, then I would not have caught the virus. A patient came out of the elevator struggling to breath, while coughing profusely non stop... without covering her mouth on the 2nd of March. That very day I heard the news later on when I was sick that the practice temporarily shut down because of COVID-19 infection and was in the process of being disinfected.


The 5- 6th of March, cold/flu like symptoms started. I thought it was another cold/flue that would go on for two to three weeks, and then return to normal. Nope, this thing escalated worse than cold/flu during the second week , with shortness of breath and lung pain, extreme fatigue, diarrhoea, weak heart, clotting risk, extreme headache, body pains, sepsis, fatigue and exhaustion on top of flu/cold like symptoms. I "recovered" at the end of March, but relapsed with post viral fatigue that has been dragging on for months

I have had 2 secondary bacterial infections in the chest and sinuses during the course of recovery. The remaining symptoms after 5 months which are post-viral are acid-reflux induced asthma/morning chest phlegm which is declining , minor sinus flareups, which are declining and almost gone, loss of voice, which has improved to partial loss of voice, and gradually improving.


The NHS has data now on recovery, that a non-ICU person who has COVID can last up to 6 months, which feels about right , now that I am on my 5/6th month of recovery. Those who have been hospitalised and survived, their recovery can take to a year and over...

https://www.yourcovidrecovery.nhs.uk/your-road-to-recovery/when-do-i-need-to-seek-help/

(P.S The website https://www.yourcovidrecovery.nhs.uk appears to be down frequently possibly from overuse...)


I haven't done any digital painting like I done last year and the years before in between working on my traditional paintings while I had been sick and recovering, since I still have tiredness and fatigue.

This year has been a bitch and is feeling worse than last year when the art studio shut down because of Brexshit..


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Posted by zanaelf - October 8th, 2019


Brexit:

"The Troubles" starting in Ireland - gets called out as fear mongering

Food and medicine shortages -gets called out as fear mongering 

People dying & Martial law - gets called out as fear mongering


The dangers of Brexit get ignored , Brexit isnt stopped.


The shitstorm begins... people die, WW3 happens, all life on earth goes extinct... 


Frog:

The water is going to gradually get warm until it boils - calls it out as fear mongering ... 


The frog doesn't jump put to save it's life


The frog gets boiled alive and dies


Don't be the frog , please... don't be that fucking frog, for the sake of humanity, stop Brexit


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Posted by zanaelf - September 26th, 2019


Why do climate change deniers hate LGBTIQ people, support Islamic and Christian extremism and are racist ? 

Why do they love Brexit and Trump ? 


I don’t know , can some one answer and explain this to me..


I am puzzled


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Posted by zanaelf - July 4th, 2019


Well if things can't get any better, the Sunderland Art Studio closed for good today because lack of funding, as the fucking government finds Brexshit and stock piling weapons and and nuclear weapons more important.... fuck I hate this current fucking government... 

Life is become a real shithole in the UK fast because of this Brexit insanity...

The art Studio was more than just a space to do my oil paintings and concentrate on my art...


Its been a week, kept contact with some of the members , fragments of the Art Studio now exist in various areas of Sunderland, and it isn't everyday at any time.. it is time restricted and limited to materials... no oils... no fucking oil painting... digital art might be an issue if you need a power supply for the Cintiq 


Oil painting and digital I now would be doing at home... even getting one of the studios 27" iMacs for 200 quid can't take away the shock and anxiety of the the Studio closing... this iMac was the Studio's and people used it... and now that is gone... its moved closer towards the end of my reoccurring nightmare ... hoping that Brexit would end , which would bring back the Art Studio again... can't mount it to my monitor stand , to heavy, so it will have to sit on desk by default design. 


If Brexit happens... things get really bad and dystopian that I could kill myself on Halloween , as I don't want to see myself die for real in surviving a nuclear war, living in fallout or being incinerated, with mystery not knowing if Earth was blown into an asteroid belt between Mars and Venus.


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Posted by zanaelf - May 18th, 2019


My news today , yesterday went to psychologist , she drove me insane that I started smashing my head against the wall then told I got discharged from CPN and can’t help me ... hoping I end my life ..right is this how they treat PTSD patients pre-Brexit now ?


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Posted by zanaelf - May 1st, 2019


FUCK LIFE , I AM FED UP WITH ITS SHIT

 SPEAK UP AGAINST BREXIT AND YOU GET SILENCED ON TWITTER

WHILE TRUMP, AND TORIES ETC THROWS HATE AND RACISM ALL OVER THE PLACE

LABOUR PRO BREXIT ALSO...


THE WHOLE THING HAS BEEN RIGGED TO FAVOUR BREXIT

HUMAN RIGHTS WILL BE TRASHED... NHS BE TRASHED AND MY LIFE IS BEING TRASHED IN FAVOUR OF BREXIT


FUCK THE GOVERNMENT


AND FUCK MY ACHING BACK.


FUCKING FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF.


I HAVE HAD ENOUPH SHIT MY LIFE... I CANT TAKE ANY MORE


Posted by zanaelf - February 1st, 2019


Well while you falling to the the plans of the OperationPaperclip, CIA , The Military Industrial Complex and only seeing their TrumpRussia BrexitRussia Smokescreen,

...they carefully plan WW3

Stop Brexit Save The Planet  and End Human Suffering


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Posted by zanaelf - January 13th, 2019



I just got over the depressive suicide thought flood and looking for a new place to post WIPs and Crap... Because Tumblr completely trashed my page and profile... Crap, Shitpostings as in thoughts and happenings in between my WIPs like you usually do on a general art blog tyhat is not strict and demanding to quality only.