NyanaCreation 2018-08-21 18:42:48

i don't have PTSD from what i know but the feelings of fear and knowing that every single person fucked me over except a couple is something. i tried to kill myself once and almost did it a second time. my first time was just a stupid thing that i should have thought through and saw it wouldn't work. 2 weeks after i was born my life started in chaos. everything that was beautiful crumbeld down and was destroyed by friends, family and others. my life has been in chaos from the second it went all wrong and i never get a break. it is stressful every single day. walking around with depression in my mind that i sometimes just want to smash my head into the wall to make it stop and i used to. it's sad to hear. but the feeling of being nobody i get. but i see it this way. to everybody your nobody because not everyone will get to know you but to somebody your someone because they see you for who you are. even when walking on the street you change the world because mabey you stepped on a branch or moved a little stone.
i have seen your art and it's beautiful. you influanced 104 people. it is terrible what you had to go through and what is happening is terrifying. but i learned that not every second i have to think about everyone. i don't always have to take the bullshit. it is a fight always for me but i know even if the little flower would be crushed, i still have the memorie of it and i could draw it out on paper to remember the nice times. i know it is hard and i will not say to you that you have to get over it because it isn't that easy. but i am sure you can atleast see the positives to. an old ex friend once sat me down at a table and said to me ''write down everyone who cares about you and don't lie'' i didn't want to but i did and it was more than i expected to be honest. mabey you can do that as well. i am sure your a lovely person and i wish i could help you but i am not a mirical. i just hope you feel better and i am sorry i saw this later. i hope you feel better soon.