Well, My art has just come back from the Oriental Museum after being on display since January, wrapped up in bubble-wrap , and no one bought it, in fact nobody's work that was on exhibit got sold. I was really hoping these paintings would pay off the credit card I spent in getting my Macbook Pro. Apparently not, and as usual life is always disappointing and boring, especially when money is always involved ...

 
My other painting which was not for sale "Look What I Made" aka  "The Slug Lady" in its satire title depicting an extraterrestrial holding slugs with a spaceship genetically tattooed over their breathing holes, with a spaceship in the background, supposed to be on Exhibit at the Royal Bank Of Scotland. The paining was refused because the subject of Direct Panspermia in the painting was was probably considered controversial ... but not really when you read this..: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/03/aliens-send-space-seed-to-earth_n_6608582.html ...



Well since the one is too big to take home at the moment, and when I do I have to hang it from the ceiling (running out of wall space for my paintings in the flat) I took the "slug lady ET" and the blue forearmed oriental extraterrestrial painting home with me. I needed to get some supplies from the shop such as milk, butter, pepper, cat treats, and some personal treats such as crisps and a galaxy chocolate, but forgot to get toilet paper :/. So when the lady at the shop saw the paintings I was carrying, she got scared. I asked what was wrong with the paintings. She said nothing, but I could feel that she was scared of extraterrestrials, she was always nervous when I was at her shop, because I look different to everyone else... but her seeing the paintings and reacting with fear explains it. She is scared of people from other planets who have almond eyes and pointed eyebrows.. As I went home, I wonder who or what made her scared of extraterrestrials, or is she afraid of them, like some people are afraid of spiders and insects ? Or is it the media brainwashing people with alien invasion and abduction movies ?
 

Hello there, well I have not posted in a while, I did, but I deleted it encase it attracted unwanted attention. Well the update is, I have been playing Warframe, which is why frequency in creating art has declined a bit, and I have two of my paintings in an exhibition on the go at the Oriental Museum.., will be checking on monday on the paintings if they are sold or not, I really hope they are, . Yes I had to use credit card to get a new computer which was a Macbook Pro. Small, light and powerfull, so I would not kill my back carrying it from home to the studio and back.

I have started a new painting, based on my recent digital 3D manipulation. 

Well , how I am feeling and keeping ? Not well at all, the help I have been relying on has left me in the shit again, which is why I have been staying away from community websites , since what happened to me years ago. Nothing seems to be happening with my medical gender issues, and its gone worse or on hold because of political -economic reasons, if it continues... i don't want to think about it.

The doomsday clock set by the board of atomic scientists is now 3 minutes to midnight, something I feared and sensed in dreams would happen, has happened. What see in my dreams in the not to near future has left me with insomnia. This why I enjoy the game of Warframe, keeps my mind off it. I am finding it more difficult to concentrate on my artwork again and I feel I am heading downhill again. This why I been staying away from sites like deviant art encase I say something dumb and stupid , and I have a whole 2011 thing all over again.

Things have changed , and I am asking for help and advice on this issue, this is the changes to sick and disability benefit as Serco, Capita and G4S take over public sector of the UK government. 

The problem is the council tax. Everyone has to pay council tax, and we are told its for the infrastructure, the hospitals, fire stations, schools etc etc. I am fine with that. Thats how it used to be, and anyone who is on a benefit, this all happened in the background.

Now we have to pay CAPITA for council tax, an industrial military corporation. I consciously object paying to a company that funds war, funds the manufacturing of weapons, and funds military, invasion and nuclear war. 

The thing is I have enquired to pay council tax directly to council so that it would go to the fire station, schools, infrastructure of the city. So far no joy, all channels seem to deposit people's payment;s into CAPITA, and the thing is later on they would threaten to take me to court. I have decided if they take me to court, and do not realize and negotiate that I consciously object to paying the council tax through CAPITA , I will slit my wrists in court in protest, to symbolise the pain and suffering that CAPITA is creating on the expense of people's money, on the expense that people have been lied to, and on the expense that people have been made ignorant of the atrocities of war CAPITA funded in the past , the present and the thermo nuclear war of the future if it should happen. If it does happen, I would rather have a clear conscious that I did not fund and support the extinction and annihilation of humanity, when this planet gets torn apart by multiple nuclear explosions of bombs aggravating the more hazardous explosions of nuclear power stations into an asteroid belt that would lie between Venus and Mars.

On the good news side of things, I would be going to a meeting in April, focusing on the Extraterrestrial Embassy, because it is getting more and more important that it should be built for the sake of humanity and all life on this planet. That there is a future for us, our children, a future of love, peace , prosperity, exploration , and creativity. Saying this makes me so emotional... because I want there to be a future , and when the extraterrestrials land officially and publicly , the doomsday clock be a thing of the past.

The truth is people get born, then they live life and then they die. What is the point of that ? I don't believe in this afterlife nonsense be it the classic western perception of heaven and hell which religion and theism is used to control the population by the religio political elites, and the eastern perception of re-incarnation. People have claimed and they claim they have remembered passed lives, perhaps they do have memories. But looking and studying myself in reality, I do not have any memories of past lives and such. All the memories I have which I can still remember is from childhood up to this present day of the abuse I went through , the bullying, the boredom, and some occasions some happy times and the memories with my star mother, the memories of being in hospital with an unknown virus and so on. Though I do have memories of being in extraterrestrial bodies on different planets kind of like the movie "Avatar" , but the speculation of it being real is not clear and could be just a dream or a lucid ream, and not really a consciousness transfer, but then again it could be.

So since I don't believe there is an afterlife, based on on what I learn , read through and comparing it with my experience being alive. I know the basics of extraterrestrial general science, and do find it interesting how this planet's civilisation is catching up to it. What I know is covered in some books from some people who have experienced contact with extraterrestrials, though they do not cover everything about it, perhaps the important parts to provide a basic idea...

One of these concepts is energy and matter(particles). People on this planet believe particles are made up of energy. What they don't realize is that energy is the motion, the movement, the attraction and repulsion between these particles, and that  all particles are made up by the density of moving , always in motion, smaller particles and so on, which follow this concept:
particle->energy->particle->energy->particle->energy->energy through infinity. Thus one can stipulate that Matter(stuff/particles) cannot exist without Energy(motion movement vibration), and Energy(motion movement vibration) cannot exist without Matter(stuff/particles).

So when you get the concept of spirits and ghosts, it would violate this infinite fractal of energy and matter, because it is perceived as energy on its own, without having a physical influence at some level. Thus the term "spirit" to me is merely a description of a "state of being" not a being, so therefor ghosts and spirits do not exist, and observations of them are an optical illusion or someone's imagination.

Then since I don't believe in the existence of any form of afterlife based on experience and data and thought and reason, then people actually get born, live and die. Then people would bring up the term "soul" and perceive it as "spirit". The thing is the "soul" is the consciousness of a being, and it is stored, and processed in the physical brain, and its energy that groups up into data and informations providing the instructions on how people think and reason, solve problems and make decisions in life. A model to describe this would be like comparing the brain and mind to an electronic computer. The consciousness is basically one's operating system, like Windows, Linux or OSX, and the physical brain is the machine. When a computer dies and is thrown on the rubbish heap, it decays, and so does the stored data, and operating system that would still exist on the hard drive, and get dispersed and fragmented into the environment. I think the same happens with the consciousness within the brain, when it decomposes and gets used up and recycled, so the consciousness of that being gets fragmented and dispersed and even corrupted and lost, when it is fully decomposed, just like the data, and OS on a hard drive.

Now sit and ponder, what is the point of being alive, when one is born, is conscious and can think create, imagine and dream in a limited time of a lifespan , then die and all this gets lost and fragmented ? What is the point of all this ? You would think that if people understand this, they would make most of their lives being a conscious living being, and even be aware of others who would also would try and make the most of things, but they exploit and use other people like capital and resources. People making other people's lives a living misery and a living hell so that they achieve happiness out of the suffering and torment of others. I find this very depressing disturbing and see life completely pointless, because a life span of a human being is insignificantly short and finite even when compuring to the time relevant to stars and planets. It small and insignificant like that of a fruit fly… Born, live and die… makes me wish I never existed in the first place, and then having to experience a shit life while conscious and live, on the basis of being born different, alien and a freak.

Tonight I had a disturbing dream where I was killing a cat, and I woke up disturbed , traumatized , woke up disturbed ... It has made me edgy and snappy and irritable. I am wondering if my mind connected to a psychopath out there who really did kill a cat.  I think I connected to the killer in my sleep, and I was seeing them kill cat with their eyes and their own hands. What happened is they grabbed the cat, put it in a pillow case or bag and started throwing it around, jumping on it and squeezing and pulling the cats' legs , and then dump the dead cat on the lawn .

I then did a google search in the news section and discovered two sources of brutal mass cat killings 

http://fox59.com/2014/07/16/dozens-of-martinsville-cats-believed-killed-animal-advocacy-group-offers-reward-for-tips/

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/pair-cats-killed-mutilated-texas-city-article-1.1859411

Apparently the police are trying to catch the suspects.

I cant grab much detail from the dream, since I don't live in the area and this is happening in the United States.

I myself have a cat, and they are lovely companions , and my cat is my best friend, and i don't know how people can do such a thing to an innoscent animal capable of giving love and healing.

Its been a long time since I started making my own music, and a long way first remixed samples in sound recorder, winamp, windows media player in windows 95. My first official music creation software was eJay, which I know now is a pile of shit. Then moved to mod plug edit(spreadsheet editing) with ejay and magix music creator. Then it started to grow exponentially when I got my own midi input keyboard , since the music I made was loops, edits and typing into the tedious spreadsheets of mod plug edit. Songs that took me months to make, now took me a day to make, and could just play them in. Then I had moved to Ignite, and Magix Music Maker with FL Studio. My days of making music on the PC are gone…always found the PC tedious, and FL Studio remind me of re-vamped Mod Plug Edit for creating and mixing XM files... I now all do it on the mac with Garageband,  Ignite and Logic pro X. Now that my music is more flexible and intricate and can compile complete song /tune/track within a day… one thing that was lacking, was the quality of the sound for all devices, be it phones and tablets, to laptops and MacBooks, to PCs and iMacs, to hi-fi systems and Home entertainment. The sound when played through my devices sounds perfect, but when played by other people which it was intended to be , distributed for people , free to enjoy, free to use,  as a gift to humanity as much as my artwork… the results are not pleasant some people could nearly hear anything … I think I now may have cheaply solved the problem… instead of relying on pc speakers and tinny laptop speakers….

I got myself a beats pill speakers… will using it make me produce a better sound ?  I hope so.. As small as they are, the sound that comes from them gives me a larger range and when finalising my music to be exported , I think my music may be pleasant for all. I think anyone can agree compiling music on laptop speakers and pc speakers is a nightmare, where over use  on the equaliser, is performed where you made the sound , sound perfect through pathetic little speakers…. but when playing  through something better such as a home stereo or entertainment system… the base screws it all up.  Equaliser base peak overdone...

well my deafness in my left ear also may contribute to my music sounding shit… but i think the pill is the cure.

I think thats  now over for me…. I am so amazed of this sound that comes from this little thing… I hope my shit will shape up… I can't get anything bigger than louder than the beats pill, it would hassle the neighbours.
 

Freemasonry refer to women as being: 
anathema   
1. women to be detested or loathed: That a woman is an anathema to the cult.
2.women to be accursed or consigned to damnation or destruction.
3.a formal ecclesiastical curse involving automatic excommunication.
4.A imprecation of divine punishment.
5.A curse; execration.

Freemasons : An Earth based middle semi-public hierarchy of the religio political elite.This all male theistic cult  that segregates other genders, like the above groups of the hierarchy, Is the driving force of resulting the extinction of all life on the planet they reside on, they infiltrated governments, political private organisations such as the CIA,almost all banks that handle the earth currency system and they farm earth citizens as human capital in the primitive Earth society . 

They are regularly known as secret society, and even master planned well known president assassination of Kennedy, the destruction of Nikola Tesla's research which set back the science and technology evolution of the planet, and their exoplotical involvement was gunning down and murder of extraterrestrial visitors, and the surviving off world artists and scientists were interrogated and starved to death for technology such as the surviving one of the four exploring scientists of the well known area 51 case. 

Actually, with anxiety and fear of trauma , I forgot to subtract the years from the time when I estimated that life on this planet would end up being extinct as being 26 years… time has flown since I mentioned it, the real figure is , that humanity has only 21 years left.  Since nothing has been done to fix the environment, stop the Fukushima radiation…. and governments etc  still occupied with stupid wars, and their impact of war in the past has resulted more war in this present.

Humanity has 21 years left before extinction date,
Extraterrestrials are offering to help….. negative perception of extraterrestrials still outweighs the positive perception due to the anti-ET agenda, ignorance, and intolerance of extraterrestrials...

Its already happening, and then it would be the land animals, and then eventually human beings…. 21 more years left...
http://themindunleashed.org/2014/06/mass-fish-deaths-millions-found-dead-world-past-month.html
 

Churning feelings of rejection
For mentioning a different opinion
Frustrated about this planet’s desire to hold on
On antiquated forms of energy,
Poisoning the air, the water, and the soil.
Radiation consuming everything,
Fossil Fuels polluting the air and oceans.
Toxic waste, depression states
Why would no body explain or make sense?
Why the huge sun this planet orbits,
Cannot provide free and abundant energy for all ?

The worst of it is when you painted with lunacy
When you mention the suppressed technology,
The religio political elite have made it personal
When they actually convince a friend I care and think of
In the almost same gender intersexed predicament 
To throw in the rejection card , regardless of my admiration,
I can only think back to the greatest intventor
Who was more than just a shit artist like myself.
Nikola Tesla that we live in a sea of energy.

He is right when you understand energy
It’s the motion and vibration of substance 
That gives shape to all matter and form.
Energy cannot be created nor destroyed,
But it has potential, when concentrated as one.

I am just fed up with people, this planet and everything
Sick of it all, and the thoughts of ending my life
Seems to feel comforting when confronting the future.
A future the religio-political elites have created 
Just to value money over people’s lives and the planet

I do not wish to continue if life is just going to be a battle
Where pain and suffering just happens to live.
A month after I was born, I can consider myself dead
Intersexed gender mutilation, without my consent 
If I knew my life growing up, and living it to now was this shit
I would have ended it, with the very scalpel that made my life hell.

Dont I wish I lived on a planet where men dont exist, 
Equality hardly exists in this planet of males and females
Hermaphrodites and Androgynes are asumed to be a myth
Yet so many earthlings believe that a god is not a myth
Transsexuals and transgenders are frowned on,
Conservatives consider the small and big changes an abomination.
In some places even women are put down not alone by segregation.

Men dominate the planet, together with their invention,
The oldest mind manipulation called religion
The religio political leaders that made this planet a prison
Are all males, who abuse little children.
From the the highest levels that no one can name their positions
Down the authoritarian pyramid of political theism to the free masons
All male totalarian testosterone penis brain driven bunch of scum,
Raping mother earth until she bleeds into the stars, cutting her open.

Will mankind, yes, man kind, kill mother earth, with nukes ?
Sprawling her insides into the moon in full glare of the sun ?

If only this planet had no men, men as such, this man kind
The inhumane insane human, burning babies on giant owl statues
Molesting boys in churches, marrying little girls in mosques...
Making millions of money from civil and world wars they caused.

I wish I lived on a planet that had no men, especially this man kind.
If there were no men, such as these , we would be exploring galaxies by now.